


Memories of his Best Friend

by KalChloe1



Series: The Royal Seal [2]
Category: Roswell (TV), Smallville
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-11 00:55:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7868929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalChloe1/pseuds/KalChloe1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Second installment of Royal Seal Series. Alternative Universe Clark reflects on his life with his best friend before he goes to complete his training with Jor-El (Clark’s POV)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Banner tells it’s own story  
> Changes some aspects and situations in Arrival  
> All will eventually be explained in the series

Part One

Clark stared at Lois in disbelief as he prayed she was mistaken. He tilted his head as he attempted to detect Chloe’s heart beat. His heart pounded wildly in his chest as he discovered he couldn’t find her.

Clark stared at the smoldering meteor as he wondered if he’d be affected if he took a closer look. His stomach tightened in knots at the destruction her body would have endured. He was too afraid of the results he’d discover.

Clark’s anguish tore past his lips as he screamed, “No….Chloe!”

Clark turned back to Lois to see she was barely holding herself together. She’d witnessed her cousin as she’d been consumed. His face distorted in pain and tears filled his eyes as he was grasped in a tight bear hug.

Clark blushed in embarrassment as he pulled away. He brushed the tears from his face as he glanced around at the destruction. “I can’t imagine my life without her in it.”

“Me either,” Lois cried.

====

Clark reluctantly walked into the ice structure. He’d returned as the last ray of sun dispersed into the sky. “Jor-El, I kept my promise but I have another request.”

Clark understood Jor-El claimed a great darkness was coming. He hoped the two aliens he’d sent away were the danger. “I sent to aliens to a place they can harm no one else.”

“Kal-El, that wasn’t the dark force.”

Clark glanced at the symbols as they moved in circles within a blue light. He didn’t know how to convince Jor-El his emotions were considered strengths. “Are there species who use their emotions to gain strength?”

Clark watched in awe as the symbols stilled. He heard a mild hum before the voice answered, “If one can control their emotions, yes.”

Clark shifted on his feet as he said, “My best friend was killed in the meteor shower. It would be frowned upon by the humans if I didn’t attend her funeral.”

Clark feared his birth father’s AI would deny his request. He couldn’t live with the guilt. “On Earth a funeral is a way of paying respect and honoring the deceased.”

His body was suddenly encased in a tighter blue light. Clark became confused as he swore the light scanned him. His eyebrows furrowed as the focus appeared to still momentarily over his heart.

“I will grant your request. I will expect you back here in one month’s time.”

Clark breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t desire to press his luck with the entity as he said, “Thank you. I will remain as long as required when I return.”

=====

Clark blurred home to discover his parents staring at the destruction of their home. He’d help them rebuild but intended to keep his promise to Jor-El. His parents wouldn’t be pleased with his decision.

Clark followed his parents into what remained of their kitchen. His eyes clouded with tears as he heard his dad mention their family was still standing. The shower hadn’t been without loss, though.“Chloe’s dead.”

Clark took in the expression of shock on their faces before he was embraced in their arms. He couldn’t hold back the tears and cried for the friend he’d lost.

Clark’d heard Lana was in the hospital and contemplated going to break the news to her about Chloe. He decided to stay with his family instead. “Is it safe to stay inside?”

“I was thinking we should all camp out in the barn tonight. We’re going to have to completely rebuild.”

“Are you sleeping in your loft?”

Clark nodded as he hadn’t spent much time there since he’d lost his virginity to Chloe. He wasn’t ready to divulge his past discretion, though. Sitting down across from his parents, he decided it was time to mention what happened after graduation and before he arrived home.

Clark mentioned he’d completed the crusades for the stones of power. It formed a large crystal which he’d thrown into the Arctic snow. “It became a fortress of solitude where the geography of Krypton has been replicated for my training.”

“Jor-El demands you leave everything behind?” Jonathan asked.

Clark nodded as he recalled what Jor-El claimed when he arrived. “Jor-El says I must be prepared for a great darkness.”

“Destiny and fate,” Jonathan grumbled.

Clark really disliked both terms. He’d been warned it was his only way to save the planet. His failure would mean more than the deaths which occurred today. “Jor-El originally requested I return by sunset.”

“It’s after sunset,” Martha commented.

Clark pleaded for understanding as he saw the hurt in his mom’s eyes. His parents wouldn’t have known where he was if Jor-El hadn’t agreed. He would have been stuck at the fortress with his parents worrying about him.

Clark watched his dad closely as he believed his father would be enraged. He’d feared the lesson Jor-El would inflict upon him. His ship had been much smaller than the fortress of solitude. He’d been branded with his family crest for his defiance. “I returned but requested an extension. I couldn’t live with the guilt or the damage missing Chloe’s funeral would inflict.”

“He simply gave it to you out of the goodness of his heart.”

Clark couldn’t help but smile as he imagined the ice structure with an actual heart. He’d used qualities of character and morals to gain his permission. “I don’t know why Jor-El agreed. He could do something to me like take my abilities away.”

Clark’d always wanted to be normal. He’d come to the conclusion his life would never be normal, though. It was time he excepted he couldn’t fight fate. He didn’t want to continue denying his heritage if it put others in danger. “I’ll be here for a month. We can say my grandfather gave me a graduation present to travel the world.”

“Clark, isn’t leaving a bit drastic?” Martha asked.

Clark disagreed with his mom as his stomach tightened into knots as he recalled Jor-El’s warning about the planet. He’d intended to use his training as healing method but wasn’t ready to explain his main reasons.

Clark reluctantly headed toward the stairs to his loft. “My best friend is dead because I couldn’t save her.”

“Clark, Chloe’s death isn’t your fault.”

Clark knew his mom was right. He’d managed to save her every time she’d needed him before, though. “If I refuse to go then the next time it will be my fault when someone I love dies.”

=====

Clark leaned against the balcony in this loft as he stared at the spot where he’d received his first kiss.

_Clark’d given Chloe a tour of his family farm. His last stop had been his sanctuary. It was there she’d claimed he’d been thinking about kissing her all day._

_Clark smiled as he hadn’t. He started to wonder what kissing her would be like as she moved closer to him. ‘Was she thinking about kissing me?’_

_Clark’s eyes doubled in size as Chloe kissed him. He stood shell shocked as Chloe said, “Now we can be friends.”_

 

Clark remembered their next kiss involved tongue. A meteor freak with the power of persuasion. He should have known Chloe would have demanded proof.

_Clark noticed a green glow from Chloe’s hands as Kyle said,“You’ve feelings for Clark, don’t you Chloe? You see him, you want him. All this time, you’ve been hiding it. Now you can show him.”_

_Clark’s eyebrow rose as he smiled. He wasn’t convinced at all as his amusement increased. He was tempted to voice his opinion but remained quiet. His eyes went wide as Chloe turned to him._

_Clark gulped as Chloe ran her hands up his stomach and across his chest. He stood frozen in shock as she gripped his coat and shirt in her hands. His balance was thrown off as he found himself yanked down to her height._

_Clark started to struggle as Chloe deepened the kiss. He definitely wasn’t expecting her tongue in his mouth. Breaking free of her hold, he shifted uncomfortably on his feet._

_Clark exchanged a look with Kyle as Chloe remembered nothing. He looked at her as he tried to determine how he’d explain. ‘Do I say we kissed? You kissed me.’_

_“What? Why are you looking at me like that? And why is my mouth minty.”_

_Clark shifted on his feet again as Chloe mentioned his mouth wash. “Let’s just say he proved his point.”_

_Clark attempted to discretely wipe his mouth as Chloe glanced away. He was mildly embarrassed as he she looked back at him._

_“Oh god, did I just…”_

_Clark tried to put Chloe at ease as he suspected she was embarrassed too. “Don’t worry it was fine.”_

=====

Clark sighed as he thought of his first argument with Chloe. He’d forgotten to sign them up for a Journalism conference. He’d been too busy working on his history assignment with Lana.

_Clark attempted to disagree as Chloe insisted nothing else mattered to him but Lana. He’d continued to dispute her claim as he’d declared they’d saw each other everyday._

_Clark stared after Chloe in confusion as she started to walk away. He started after her as he asked, “Wait, Chloe. Why are you being so hypersensitive?”_

_Chloe turned back as she quirked, “You know, most men are from Mars, Clark, but you are from distant galaxy that I’ve never heard of.”_

_Clark decided to let Chloe go as she rapidly walked away. He shook his head as he mentioned to Pete. “Look, I know I screwed up, but why is Chloe having a breakdown?”_

_Clark became more confused as Pete declared he wasn’t observant. He followed Pete as he asked, “What are you talking about?”_

_Pete stopped and turned back toward Clark. “She wanted to spend a day with you uninterrupted. No Lana, and no Lex. She was planning on asking you to the Spring Formal.”_

_Clark stared at Pete as he said, “Yes, but that would be like…”_

_Pete cuts Clark off as he snapped, “Date. Clark, maybe if you took off the Lana blinders, you’d realize that Chloe likes you.”_

Clark hadn’t wanted to believe Pete. It was simple and uncomplicated with Chloe being just his friend. He’d debated his feelings toward Chloe as he’d experienced jealousy with her first too.

_Clark overheard Chloe being asked out by Justin. He figured she’d make up some excuse but she’s declared she was re-evaluating her life. He’d understood her unspoken words as her comment was directed toward him._

_Clark was surprised when Lana mentioned his fight with Chloe. She’d accused him of being jealous and he wondered if he’d wanted to be more than friends with Chloe. His eyes cloud with tears as he remembers what Lana said, “Sometimes the right person can be right in front of your eyes and you never know it.”_

_Clark tried to deny Justin’s accusation. He’d known Chloe existed. His interest had nothing to do with him. He’d never dreamed Chloe would want to be more than friends. He’d let the moment slip away once before and didn’t think he’d ever get it back. “I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”_

Clark breathed in deeply as he remembered walking in on Chloe and Justin.

_Chloe and Justin appeared to be oblivious to his presence as they kissed. Her arms were wrapped tightly around Justin’s neck as his hands slid down her back to hold her tighter against his body._

_Clark stood helpless as he noticed the closeness of their bodies. He hadn’t liked it at all. Clearing his throat, he made his presence known and was mildly satisfied when Chloe pulled away. It wasn’t far enough as she was still encased close to Justin._

_His eyes had darkened as he noticed Justin’s smug expression of pleasure at his expense._

Clark’d been concerned for his friend but it went much deeper. He couldn’t deny his gut instinct she’d gotten in over her head. The more he looked into Justin the stronger the sensation became that she was putting herself in harms way.

_Clark’s heart beat faster as he raced to the farm. He found Chloe unconscious in a stack of hay. His soul filled with relief as he’d managed to save her again. He frowned as he noticed the gash on her forehead, bumps and bruises._

_Clark held her tightly in his arms as Chloe hugged him. She’d always felt so good in his arms as he’d embraced her. He’d reluctantly released her from his embrace when she pulled away from him._

Clark glanced at his hands as he remembered the first time he’d held Chloe’s hand. Her small hand had felt so right in his. He’d unconsciously admitted his desire to explore his feelings for her.

_Clark slipped into the booth across from Chloe. He’d suspected she’d beat herself up over her ability to trust Justin. It was a strength of bravery as she’d dared put her emotions at risk._

_Clark hoped spending time at the Journalism Conference would take her mind off everything that happened with Justin. He’d considered it as a chance to spend more time with her.She’d called it a date._

_Clark slipped his hand into her’s again as he decided Chloe could call it whatever she liked._

 

Clark closed his eyes as another not so happy memory became clear. Chloe left Smallville for a couple of days as she’d an interview for the summer intern position at the daily planet in Metropolis. He’d missed her but took comfort from his knowledge she would return.

_Clark hadn’t believed anything was wrong when he couldn’t reach Chloe. He’d left a message as he’d thought she was busy. She’d call back later._

_Clark was busy trying to hold down the fort at the torch. He wasn’t having the best of luck; the printer jammed, scanner broken, and the Spring formal event schedule was late. Chloe leaves for the day and the torch went up in flames._

_A sudden chill ran down his spine at his words. Clark defied his father and joined the football team. He’d been at the prep rally when he noticed Chloe standing in the window with flames surrounding her. His hearing detected her distress as he’d heard Chloe scream, “Clark! Oh God!”_

_He slipped into super speed as he raced to save her. His heart pounded wildly in his chest as he’d barely made it to her on time. He’d held her tightly in the sanctuary of his arms as his eyes retraced the flames path._

_Clark was pulled from his past musings as Lana mentioned a freak dream. Chloe’d been attacked outside the hospital. His pulse raced as Lana mentioned Chloe’s purse. He couldn’t help but fret there was more her assumption might be correct._

_Clark aggravation showed the next day as his father tried to put his worries to rest. He’d checked with Pete as another attempt to squash his uneasiness. It was temporary as he’d discovered Lana had another vision. Chloe’d been kidnapped and her car was found abandoned in the woods._

_Clark spent the day searching the woods with his dad. He hadn’t appreciated how much Chloe meant to him until that day. He’d been terrified he’d never see her again. His heart stopped when Lana declared Chloe was buried alive._

_Clark pleaded with Lana to describe what she else she’d envisioned. He believed Chloe was in Chandler’s field when Lana mentioned the large windmill. Rushing out of the room, he called for help and sped to the field._

_Clark’d never been so thankful in his life for his abilities. His x-ray vision allowed him to find Chloe before her air supply ran out. He ripped the coffin from the ground to free her without a second of hesitation._

_Clark’s heart continued to pound in his chest as he held Chloe tightly in his arms. He’d never wanted to let her go. ‘Clark, Clark, I knew it was you. It’s always, you.’_

Clark glanced at the sky as he reluctantly determined he should try to get some sleep. He couldn’t bring himself to sit on the couch and had no intentions of attempting to sleep there.

Clark was certain his heighten senses would detect her lingering scent. He tried not to think of the other smells; their combined scents as he grabbed the blankets to make a makeshift bed on the floor.

Clark stared at the ceiling as he attempted to clear his troubled mind and heart. He was so distracted, he missed his father as he came up to check on him. Closing his eyes, he was thankful rebuilding the house would provide him with a distraction from his grief.


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

Clark woke before his parents. He folded the blankets and placed them on the couch before he exited his former sanctuary. Stepping out of the barn, he stared at the farm house as he wondered where to start.

Clark started to haul everything outside as he determined what hadn’t fallen would have to be torn down. He’d managed to get a good bit done before his dad and mom joined him.

“You’re going to have to pace yourself. It needs to appear you and I've hauled the big stuff.”

Clark nodded in understanding as he heard several vehicles approaching. He glanced toward the driveway to see most of their friends and neighbors arrived to help them. “Seems we’ve gotten help.”

Clark watched his dad approached their neighbor from down the road and extended his hand as he said, “Normally, I’d be a stubborn bastard…but times like these, we all require a bit of help.”

====

Clark didn’t know if he should be happy or angry as Lex pulled into their driveway. His argument with Lex was still fresh in his mind. He couldn’t trust Lex with his secret and was becoming concerned for Lana. She appeared to have made up her mind about who she’d wanted.

Clark attempted to head back over to the work area but was stopped by Lana. His heart ached as she said, “How are you?” Shrugging his shoulders, he answered, “I have to keep reminding myself, Chloe’s gone.”

Lana nodded as she sadly replied, “I know all too well the pain of death a meteor shower can rain down.”

Clark shifted on his feet uncomfortably as he was reminded of the death of Lana’s parents. His uneasiness continued as Lana insisted on talking about Chloe. He attempted to escape as he claimed he needed to get back to work.

His steps faulted as his hearing detected Lana’s whispered, “Chloe might have pulled the friend card but she’d never been truly just a friend to you. I never forgot you were willing to share your secrets with her.”

Clark clenched his hands into fists as he turned back to Lana. He was tired of her attempts to discover his secrets. “Chloe didn’t remember anything after she was infected by the parasite.”

His eyes narrowed in anger as Lana huffed, “Pete accused you of having Lana blinders. I think you’ve had on Chloe blinders.”

He crossed his arms over his chest as he snapped, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Lana sighed as she said, “Chloe lied. She remembered everything.”

Clark shook his head in denial. Chloe wouldn’t have lied to him. “You’re wrong.”

Lana looked deeply into his blue-green eyes as she said, “I’m not speaking ill of the dead. I just know she was in love with you.”

Clark would have known if Chloe’s feelings were deeper than friendship. She’d been reminded of where her heart belonged when she’d drank the tainted Gatorade. His eyes tripped in size as Lana continued to ramble.

“I overheard her conversation with Lois. She’d chosen Manhattan because you’d turned her down when she’d thrown herself at you.”

Clark laughed in shock as he questioned, ‘I turned her down?’ He hadn’t desire to add to the gossip circulating as he’d lied about their sexual deeds. It was no ones business but theirs’. His anger and grief made him slip as he snapped, “Chloe lied. I was terrified for weeks we’d been careless.”

Clark blinked rapidly as he turned toward the gasp he’d heard. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet as his mom’s eyes filled with more concern. Turning his attention back to Lana, he said, “It’s like the time you asked me why I kissed Chloe. I did it because I wanted too.”

Clark walked away from Lana without a backward glance. His eyebrow cocked slightly as he heard Lex, “Lana, Clark’s grieving.”

“So, am I. She was my friend too.”

“Chloe and you were the classic tale of two friends who rivaled for the same man’s affections. He was afraid to chose either one as he feared losing them both.”

Clark tried to tone out Lex as he mentioned his worst fear came to life. He’d lost his best friend and no matter how hard he tried there was no fixing the damage.

=====

Clark took a break for lunch as he sat he reminisced over more of his past experiences with Chloe.

_Clark asked Chloe to the Spring formal. He’d considered the dance to be their first official date. His head bowed to kiss her as his heightened hearing detected their was an emergency. ‘It would have been our third kiss.’ He’d kissed her for the second time after he walked her home._

_Clark hadn’t cared his whole class would have witnessed their kiss. He’d fallen hard but it wasn’t enough to squash his need to save Lana. His mind filled with regrets as he wondered if things would have been different if he’d kissed her before he’d ruined their magical evening._

_Clark breathed in deeply as he attempted to focus on their happier moments._

_He couldn’t help but smile as he recalled the sparkle in her hazel eyes. His first time someone made him feel his alien heritage was special._

_“My own personal superhero. I always knew there was something special about you, Clark Kent.”_

 

_Clark enjoyed the sensation as he’d cradled Chloe in his arms. His head dipped to kiss her as Lex interrupted. He’d been furious as he’d been forced to release Chloe from his arms. His eyes trailed after Chloe as she followed Pete out of the barn._

_Clark was admiring the view of her ass as she swung her hips. His hands itched to cup and squeeze as he pulled her toward him. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet as all his blood rushed to his groin._

_Clark flirted with Chloe as he tried to tempt her into joining him in the back seat. His lips trailed over her neck as he feasted on her unique taste. His hands mapped and worshiped her body as Pete declared they should get a room._

_Clark laughed against her pulse as he was tempted to whisk Chloe back to his loft. He’d considered making it their own private love shack._

His eyes fell to the red couch as he’d done just that when his best friend had become his lover.

He rapidly switched his thoughts to less drastic events. He wasn’t ready to face his biggest regret. ‘We did a lot of kissing!’

_Clark was standing near Chloe as he shoved a file back into the cabinet. He blinked as Chloe suddenly grabbed and shoved him into the wall. His mouth opened to snap at her as she kissed him hard on the lips._

_Clark numbly allowed his arms to be moved around her body. He tried to ignore the sudden response from his genitals as Chloe pressed harder into his body. His hands started to tighten around her waist as Chloe backed away as quickly as she kissed him._

_Clark breathed in deeply as he tried to regain his composure. He stared after her dumb founded as Chloe quirked a good reporter always thinks fast on her feet. Straightening his jacket, he wondered why she’d decided a teenage couple making out was their cover._

Clark slowly made his way back outside to see how he could help. He was surprised to find a good portion of the house had been built. “Anything I can do?”

“We’re actually calling it a day. Us older folk are tired,” Jonathan declared.

Clark hadn’t realized how long he’d taken for lunch. He’d lost track of time. “I’m sorry. I should have come back sooner.”

Jonathan gripped Clark’s shoulder as he said, “You’ve helped plenty. I won’t have you working yourself into the ground as a way to avoid your feelings.”

Clark wasn’t avoiding anything. He wasn’t being completely honest, though. “Do you think I was focused on Lana because I was in denial over Chloe?”

“Son, the only one who can answer that question is you.”

Clark stopped walking as he replied, “It didn’t bother me when I saw Lana with Lex.”

“Her taunts about Chloe did.”

Clark wondered how much his mom had overheard. He shrugged as his dad suggested Lana was attempting to deal with her grief. She’d lost a friend too. Everyone deals with loss in their own way.

“I think there is something you’re avoiding. I believe it happened in your loft.”

Clark shifted uncomfortably as his dad hit one of his issues head-on. He couldn’t decide if the mistake was the event or the ones that followed.

“Whatever happened was a turning point in your friendship with Chloe.”

====

Clark sat with his parents for dinner. His fork moved his veggies around on his plate as he contemplated a question that plague his mind. Slowly looking up he asked, “Do you think Chloe lied to me?”

“Son, you’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”

Clark sighed. He didn’t want to be thinking bad of Chloe. “In the hospital I asked Chloe what she remembered and she told me what happened before the parasite.”

“You think she remembered?”

Clark nodded as he wondered why. He looked deep into his mom’s eyes as he said, “Chloe distanced herself from me.”

“Before or after the loft?” Jonathan asked.

Clark didn’t acknowledge his father’s question verbally. Her distance came after he’d been spending more time with Lana, again. He’d done something to make her angry with him.

“Chloe might have been waiting for you to tell her. She knew your secret made you uncomfortable and she tried to respect your privacy.”

Clark pushed his plate away as he admitted, “I swear Chloe was thrilled I was from another planet.”

“Clark, I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation with Lana. Is her small white lie what’s really bothering you?”

Clark swallowed hard. He wasn’t ready to open that door. There were more good memories before he’d ruined everything. Instead of answering he decided to mention his observations concerning Lana. “Lana appears to have moved on to Lex.”

“Clark, I understood what Lex was saying. Lana knew about Chloe’s feelings which is why she continued to make herself available to you.”

Clark blinked in surprise at his mom’s words. His confusion was clear in his eyes as he asked, “You understood? How?”

Martha laughed before she replied, “It might surprise you but I’m a female. Neither wants to lose but only one truly cares for the boy of their affections.”

Clark tried to dispute his mom’s claim. He hadn’t passed on the relationship he desire because he’d waited for another. ‘I didn’t.’ “Chloe only wanted to be friends.”

Clark replayed the awful day he’d been crushed and confused as Chloe suddenly announced they should only be friends. He’d been tempted to kiss her as she’d approached but waited to see what she said about his running off on her. It had been his plan to sweep her off her feet but it fizzled as she’d pulled the friend card.

“After you ruined your date by running after Lana.”

Clark respected her wishes. He’d been too afraid of losing his friend. Pete stuffed red-K in his pocket and everything changed. “I’m going to call it a night.”

====

Clark clamped his eyes shut as his heat vision threatened to fire. He’d assumed his nightly wet dreams were ignited by his first unfulfilled fantasies fueled by the red-k in his blood.

Clark’d fallen into a restless sleep after his attempt to mend things with Lana. He’d been thinking about her question.

_“For once Clark just be honest with yourself. I know why Chloe was kissing you. But why were you kissing her back?”_

_Clark continued to kiss Chloe hungrily as the meteor hit the floor. His hands gripped her tighter as she ground her hips. He grunted in frustration as she made him more aware of his hardness. His surroundings slowly became clear as the haze faded._

_Clark broke the kiss and breathed in deeply. He couldn’t believe how close he’d been as he pulled away. His cheeks turned crimson as everyone around them was staring. Grabbing his coat, he quickly put it on._

_Clark tried to reason with Chloe as he’d insisted their make-out session was a mistake. He’d failed to reveal the only problem had been the venue._

_Clark grimaced as Chloe started to yell at him. He stepped back as the part where she’d declared she wanted him changed._

_Chloe walked over to Clark as she asked, “You never answered my question. Do you want me or Lana?”_

_Clark found breathing difficult as Chloe unzipped his jacket. Her fingers trailed over his chest as she taunted, “Can you tell Lana your secret?”_

_Clark envisioned Lana’s reaction on the same level as Pete’s. His friendship had ultimately been ruined. “I can’t tell her.”_

_Clark’s eyes fell to her lips as Chloe ran her tongue along her bottom lip. He brushed his lips against her and dipped his tongue inside for a taste as she moaned. His tongue battled with hers as she slipped her hands into his hair._

_Clark stumbled toward the bed as her small frame pressed into him. Breaking the kiss for air, he breathed in deeply._

_Clark groaned in frustration as his dream slowly faded. His groan turned into a gasp as he discovered he’d been affected by his fantasy. He tossed the covers from his body and slowly made his way toward the bathroom. Closing the door, he dreaded his day of school especially when he’d be in close proximity to Chloe._

Clark sighed as he thought about how each night his dreams intensified. He’d even woken as he climaxed. His lingering embarrassment made him reluctant to speak with anyone about his current nightly predicament.

Clark wished it was the dreams which cause his lack of restraint the day Chloe appeared in his loft. His sexual frustrations overpowered the rational part of his brain as he mouth touched his. He’d attempted to pull away for a nanosecond.

Clark’d lost all sense of reason as her tongue touched his lips. His groan was lost within her mouth as he felt familiarity as her wet center ground into his hardness. He tried to deny the continued sensations of naturalness as their bodied moved as one.

Clark hid his puzzlement as he noticed the small mark on her abdomen. His eyes zoomed in on the silver as he swore it resembled a tiny hand print. He became suspicious as suddenly Chloe did a one eighty.

His suspicions increased as the repetitive sex dreams appeared to change. He didn’t get the same completion as he’d before he’d indulged in the actual entity. His mornings were met with more aching incompleteness. His anger with himself made his already shaky friendship more frayed.

Clark was shocked when Chloe met up with him after practice. He nodded in understanding as she explained why she’d avoided him. His own thoughts were just as jumbled over the sudden turn in their friendship. He was too scared she’d walk away completely if they became involved and it ended badly.

Clark frowned as he no longer had Chloe in his life. He was torn by his mixed emotions as he would do anything to spend even one more instant with her. His decision to train as Jor-El insisted was based on his desire to leave his memories of her behind.

=====

Clark was tired of wishing Chloe was sipping her favorite drink at their booth in the Talon. His heart would clench painfully as a red car passed. He’d even had issues with being on the farm. Her ghost haunted him as he’d noticed the budding relationship between Lana and Lex.

Clark was well aware Chloe always believed he’d wanted a relationship with Lana. Her death allowed for a ton of soul searching. His conclusions hadn’t put his heart at ease, though.

====

Clark was dressed in his tux for Chloe’s funeral. His eyes held his sadness as he went down stairs to meet his parents. He attempted to smile as his mom asked if he wanted to speak at her funeral.

Clark always hated speaking in public. He wanted to honor his best friend but wasn’t certain he could stand in front of everyone without breaking down in tears. His eyes clouded with tears as he shook his head.

Clark sat quietly next to his mom during the ceremony. He listened as several people spoke about how Chloe’s death was a tragedy. His heart clenched painfully in his chest as Lois started to speak.

Clark breathed in deeply as Lois mentioned Chloe’s dream was to be a journalist at the Daily Planet. He brushed his eyes as she mentioned his friendship with her. His tears escaped as he continued to listen.

“I want to let you in on a secret. I’m not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin, I’m surprised you haven’t seen right through me.”

Clark tried to take comfort from his mom as she squeezed his hand.

“I’m the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend.”

Clark breathed in deeply as he prayed the end of her letter was soon. His stomach tightened into knots as Lois continued, “Sometimes I want to rip off the facade like I did at the Spring Formal, but you’ll get scared and you’ll run away again. So I decided it’s better to live with a lie than to expose my true feelings.”

Clark sniffed as he wondered if Lois had known she was literally ripping his heart out as she continued, “My dad told me there are two types of girls. The ones you grow out of and the ones you grow into. I really hope I’m the latter.”

Clark brushed the tears from his cheeks as he felt his mom rubbing his back. He wondered when Chloe wrote his letter as she’d mentioned two types of girls. ‘Lana.’ His heart ached as Lois continued, “I may not be the one you love today, but I’ll let you go for now, hoping one day you’ll fly back to me because I think you’re worth the wait.”

Clark exchanged a look of shock with his mom at the word fly. His mom’d been the only one present when Kal-El had taken flight. He remembered Chloe asked if he could fly after he’d told her his secret.

Clark watched Lois as she crushed tears from her cheeks. He hadn’t realized she’d been crying throughout her speech.

“Clark, I didn’t read Chloe’s letter to hurt you. I wanted you to know how much she loved you…”

Clark nodded his head in understanding as he attempted to regain his composure. Slipping his hand from his mom’s, he stood and slowly made his way to the front.

Clark stared at the casket in the middle of the room with Chloe’s picture as he tried to form his thoughts into words. “I originally wasn’t going to speak. Public speaking isn’t my forte.”

Clark focused on his parents to gain courage as he continued, “I met Chloe when I was thirteen years old. She quickly became by best friend. We had disagreements like all friends do.”

Clark breathed in deeply as he tried not to crush the sides of the podium. “I believed for the longest time, I was in love with the girl next door.” He glanced at Lana as he declared, “I was wrong. It’s sad it took Chloe’s death for me to realize I’d already given my heart to my best friend.”

Clark turned his attention back to Chloe’s picture as he confessed, “Chloe meant more to me than she will ever know. I shared many first with my best friend- first kiss, first make-out ‘in Pete’s car in the booth’, first dance, first fight…I could go on and on but I’ll keep the rest private.”

Clark took a deep breath before he continued, “I never imagined my life without her. I always envisioned Chloe by my side. She was the other half who completed me….”

Clark slowly made his way back to his seat. His dad squeezed his shoulder and his mom gripped his hand tightly as he listen to the rest of her funeral service. He numbly stood and followed his dad out of the funeral home.

Clark stared ahead as he walked with his parents through the cemetery for Chloe’s burial.

“Surrounded by family and friends we say our final goodbyes to Chloe Sullivan. May she rest in peace.”

Clark watched the casket slowly lower into the ground. His stomach tightened in knots as he recalled her casket didn’t contain her body. Moving closer to the mound of dirt, he knelt down and gripped a large handful of dirt.

Slowly releasing his grip, he silently said goodbye as he made a promise to her. ‘I’ll become the superhero you believed in. I promise the next time I find love I’ll embrace it.’


	3. Chapter 3

  


Part Three

Clark attended the gathering after the burial with his parents. His mom explained it was the celebration of Chloe’s life. Another way friends and family say their goodbyes.

Lois’d done an amazing job. She’d displayed a mural of pictures of Chloe’s life from birth to childhood. He’d wondered why there weren’t any of Chloe and her mother.She’d mentioned once her mom walked out on her.

Chloe smiled brightly in the pictures she’d been in with her dad. She looked younger and the background suggested an area in Metropolis. Her father hadn’t attended today’s services. Lex transferred Gabe to a plant in London. He didn’t know all the details but heard Lionel was attempting to blackmail Chloe.

Clark smiled as he admired the ones of Chloe and Lois. They were singing at the Talon on Karaoke night, in bikinis at Crater lake, and a few others. He assumed they were older pictures and taken on a Military base. Lois was a Military brat.

Clark frowned as he saw Pete and Chloe from Freshman year. They were sitting on the bus to school. Her hairstyle reminded Clark of their Freshman year. He’d missed the bus but arrived shortly after it.

Chloe was flabbergasted as she’d trouble getting her sentence out. Until he’d mentioned a short cut. ‘Through what a black hole?’

Chloe sitting at her computer with Pete glancing over her shoulder. They must have been working on an article for the Torch. Another of the two standing in front of Chloe’s infamous wall of weird. ‘When did she take it down?’

Pete and Chloe at the party thrown inside the Indian Caves. Clark wondered if it was before or after Pete was infected with the alien bug. In the last one Pete was holding a red rose. Clark assumed it was when Pete said goodbye to Chloe.

Clark was sad Pete hadn’t attended. It would have been nice to see him. He hadn’t spoken to him very often since Pete moved to Wichita after his parents divorce. His decision to tell Pete about his secret backfired in the end.

Chloe and Lana were bowling was the only picture with just the two of them. Clark was included in the others. He was sitting at a computer with Chloe by his side and Lana behind them. ‘An article for the Torch.’ There were two where they were on horseback. Clark couldn’t help but smile knowing his mom must have supplied them. He didn’t think Chloe had ever gone horseback riding before.

Clark blinked as he viewed the rest. They were all moments he’d spent with his best friend. His heart clenched painfully as he admired one where Chloe and he were both smiling as they sat together at a computer. Anyone who viewed it would have assumed they were a happy couple inches from kissing as they joked and laughed together.

Clark smiled as he recalled the one taken of them sitting on a log by the fire. Chloe accused him of being from an ice planet. He’d worn a thin jacket while she’s worn a thick coat with a fur collar. ‘How are you not freezing.’

Clark smiled at Chloe and laughed at her teasing taunt. He’d taken her over by the fire where they’d sat and talked. ‘First bomb fire.’

Clark wondered how Lois found room for all of the pictures she included of Chloe and him. She chosen many of his memories he’d mulled over the last few days. His eyes sparkled as he saw one of Chloe in a cheerleading uniform. ‘Give me a…’

Clark finally moved away from the mural to see Lois displayed several of Chloe’s Torch articles.He smiled as he’d saved Chloe from several of the subjects she’d been investigating. Moving away from the memorabilia, he decided to check out the food.

Clark reluctantly grabbed a plate as a line formed behind him. ‘Why is everyone following me?’ He scanned the buffet table to see there was a veggie platter, fresh fruit bowl,petite sandwiches, cheese, pepperoni, crackers platter, mini desserts, and bottled water. ‘I’m not really hungry.’

Clark sat with his parents as he picked at the items he chosen. He couldn’t help but smile as his mom teased him for choosing mostly desserts. His smile turned to a frown as people started stopping at their table to tell him they were sorry for his loss.

Clark waited until after Lois came over to mention he’d wanted to go home. He couldn’t take another person expressing their sympathy to him.

====

Clark remained silent as he glanced out the window and wished everything since graduation was a horrible nightmare. He’d give anything to find Chloe waiting on their front steps.

Chloe would race over and wrap her arms around his neck. Clark would hold her tightly against him as he refused to let go. She’d explain why she’d been missing and everything would be normal again.

Clark frowned as he returned from his small fantasy. Lois wouldn’t have lied about Chloe. His best friend would never be waiting for him again.

“Clark, did you want us to run to town for pizza or something for dinner?”

Clark shook his head as he replied, “I’m not hungry.”

Clark practically blurred into the house. He wanted to change out of the tux. Shoving the offending garment into his closet, he hoped to never wear it again. ‘I hate funerals!’

Clark caught the concern embedded in his parents eyes as he joined them in the kitchen. He figured he could keep busy by moving more of their belongings back inside. “I’m going to bring more stuff in.”

“Clark, not tonight.”

Clark reluctantly pulled back the chair. He glanced at the floor as his mom asked, “How are you?”

Clark didn’t want to talk. He was tired of being expressive with his feelings. “I miss her. I want this all to be a horrible nightmare but it’s not.”

“We miss her too.”

Clark allowed himself to be consumed by his parents arms as he was embraced in a tight hug. He pulled away a few moments later. “Why didn’t Chloe give me her letter?”

“Maybe, Chloe was afraid you’d reject her.”

Clark frowned knowing he’d rejected her. He breathed in deeply as he recalled her teary eyes. “I did just that a couple days after we’d sex.”

Clark swallowed hard as he realized he’d let it slip. He slowly looked up at his parents as his father cleared his throat.

“Son, I must have misheard you. Did you say you’ve been sexually active with Chloe?”

Clark noted the expression of shock plastered on his mom’s face. Nodding his head, he babbled, “Chloe was sitting on my couch in only my jersey…I tried to resist…but…I couldn’t.”

Clark might have invulnerably but he wasn’t a saint or perfect. He’d a woman he was attracted to sitting next to him one moment and in his lap the next. His body instinctively responded to her closeness and he was a goner when she kissed him.

“Clark, you lied to us,” Martha accused.

Clark glanced at his hands as he felt shame. He usually told his parents everything but he didn’t want another lecture on the dangerous of unprotected sex. “I know.”

Clark was embarrassed about his lack of control. He’d tried desperately to do the right thing. “Chloe was dressed in nothing but my jersey. I tried talking to her but it was like my brain stopped working.”

Clark figured he was already embarrassed he might as well continue. He wanted the dreams to be his reason but knew deep down he’d desired to be intimate with Chloe. “I was having sex dreams before about Chloe. They were so intense it was as if it was happening.”

“All teenagers have wet dreams.”

Clark shrugged his shoulders as he wondered if his had been different because of his alien status. His cheeks turned a darker shade of red as he admitted, “I doubt it. My dreams were almost too real.”

“Regardless, Chloe was under the influence.”

Clark was forced to agree with his mom. He couldn’t see any other reason Chloe would become his own personal cheerleader the following day. How the dreams changed after they were sexual still annoyed him. “I know, but my dreams changed afterward.”

“Change?” Jonathan questioned.

Clark wanted to crawl away and hide. He’d dreaded having this conversation. “I found release during and after before but after I wasn’t satisfied.”

“Maybe it’s specific to your race,” Martha suggested.

Clark shrugged his shoulders. He’d discover the ins and outs of his species and mating when he was ready. “It got so bad. I accused Chloe of having an ability which allowed her to manipulate dreams into partial reality.”

“Clark!” Martha chastised.

Clark glanced at his intertwined hands as he knew how bad his accusation sounded. “Chloe acted strange right after. She implied it was better than her dreams and claimed she’d pushed me into having sex.”

“Son, is it that what bugged you? Since, you should have been the responsible one.”

Clark breathed in deeply before he sighed loudly. “Chloe avoided me after she was my personal cheerleader. I tried to be responsible as I attempted to talk to her but she wanted no part of it.”

Clark didn’t want his parents to think he’d completely forgotten. He’d managed to finally get things out in the open. ‘Sort off.’ “We did talk one day after practice. Chloe believed she must have still had feelings for me.”

“You told her you didn’t?” Martha asked.

Clark nodded as he replied, “I wanted to take a few steps back because I honestly was confused. Now, I’ll never have the chance.”

“Clark, you can’t second guess what would or wouldn’t have happened.”

“I think you learned you weren’t ready for a sexual relationship.”

“I was afraid if we pursued anything I’d lose my best friend which happened anyways.”

“Because of a horrible accident.”

Clark was relieved when his parents didn’t add anything else. He’d beaten his conscience black and blue since he’d lost his virginity with Chloe. ‘Any other first I shared with my best friend.’

====

Clark was leaving for training in a couple of days. He’d finished his chores and went inside to see if his mom needed help with anything. His eyebrows furrowed together as he discovered two boxes, a book, tape, glue, and several pens. “What’s this?”

“Lois stopped by yesterday. She thought you might like the stuff Chloe saved over the years the two of you have been friends.”

Clark peaked curiously inside of the boxes. He wondered what his mom had in mind as he started to look through the first box. “Chloe kept everything.”

“I had a box of old pictures of the two of you. I figured you could take your favorite ones.”

Clark blinked in surprise as he started to suspect he’d be making a scrapbook. It was a neat way to remember their friendship but he’d his memories. “Mom, I have everything in my head”

“You’re father and I agreed to support your decision to travel. However, we believe you’re using Jor-El’s demand as a way of avoidance.”

Clark couldn’t deny her accusation. He’d dealt with a lot in the time he’d been given. It still hurt though. “Yes and no.”

“We want you to make a scrapbook which you’d be willing to share when you find someone else you’d be willing to share your secret with like you wanted to with Chloe.”

Clark shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He hadn’t voice his opinion on how things might have changed had Chloe known his secret. There was still a nagging sensation in his gut about whether Chloe’d remembered though. “I’m not sure I’ll ever want to share my secret again.”

Clark gulped at the disapproval in her eyes as he continued to admire some of the memories Chloe’d chosen to share. He relented as he declared, “I see what your trying to do.”

Clark spent the remained for the day reliving more of the times he’d shared with his best friend. He glanced through the completed project as he determined one day he’d find the special someone he’d be willing to share her with.

“Finished?” Martha asked.

Clark picked up the book entitled ‘Memories of my best friend.’ He knew exactly where he intended to put it. “I’m going to put it in my loft.”

Clark smiled as he walked back into the farm house. He’d been able to go into his sanctuary for the first time without a pang of guilt. Sitting down with his parents for dinner, he thought of how tomorrow his new journey would begin as he ventured to the Arctic. He didn’t know how long he’d be gone from Smallville but he’d become the hero Chloe believed he’d become when he returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> History Can’t Repeat


End file.
